Cyberbullying: It Needs To Stop.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me” is a phrase that we hear constantly when we are kids. But the irony is that words can be more hurtful and have longer lasting effects than any broken bones. The high profile suicides of school girls Erin Gallagher here in Donegal and Irish Phoebe Prince, living in Massachusetts, have highlighted the damage that bullying can have on a young life. Just last week, another young girl took her own life after being bullied on the site ask.fm.

While the internet and social media is a fantastic way to get information instantly and a great way to keep in touch with people, it clearly has a darker side. It allows someone the freedom to sit behind a screen and say whatever despicable, hurtful things they want. It gives them a sense of bravery and emotional disconnection that would not necessarily be there if they were face to face with that person.

I went through my teens getting bullied, mostly by my so called friends, and from my experience, the bullying stays with you long after it has stopped. At that age, your peers are the biggest influence in your life. You’re growing, and discovering who you are. Being bullied at this stage leaves you feeling worthless and alone. You feel useless and think that you have no one. You believe everyone hates you, and you end up hating yourself. But I feel like it was easier for me in a way because I didn’t grow up with Facebook, and smart phones weren’t available. I could go home, close my bedroom door, listen to music, and try to put it out of my head. But with technology, there isn’t that escape anymore. Someone could contact you through your phone or computer whenever they want. Even as I’m writing this, I see that one person has called another an ‘ugly f***k’ on Twitter after she posted a picture of herself, and it makes me sick to my stomach that someone can be so hurtful about another person that they’ve never even met.

So what can be done to prevent this? Unfortunately, there is no miracle solution. While there is a proposal by ministers to closely monitor cyber bullying in schools, it doesn’t get to root of it. Should cyber bullying become a police matter? Should these people be brought before a judge and cautioned? It’s a difficult question to answer. The ‘easy’ solution is that cyber bullying should be stopped before it gets to that level.

Most parents give their children too much freedom and there’s not enough supervision when it comes to monitoring their online activities. Ultimately, parents should talk to their children, teach them that using the internet is a privilege and show them how to use it in the right way. Be more vigilant when it comes to what children are doing online. If they find that they’re child is bullying someone, take away their phone/laptop, anything that they can use to contact that person. Sit them down and try and explain to them the hurt that they are causing, talk to them about their peers who have taken their own lives of because of this. I don’t think that they really do think about the emotional consequences.

If your child is being bullied, to protect them, you do the exact same thing by taking away their phone and laptop, to stop them from being contacted. Make them feel like they can talk to you, but more importantly, that they are safe and loved. Studies show that people who are bullied at a young age tend to become more driven and turn out to be the most hardworking, successful people, because they feel like they have something to prove.

I also feel that there needs to be more education in schools when it comes to the effects of bullying. I think schools would greatly benefit from someone giving a talk about their experience, to show how bullying can really affect someone, which could make teenagers think twice before they bully. Also, someone needs to come in and talk to them about suicide, and how, no matter how low you are feeling, it is not the answer.

To anyone reading this who is being bullied, I urge you to talk to someone who you trust, to make realise that you are loved and you are not alone in this world. You are beautiful. The probelm is with them, and not you. From my experience, these girls have deep rooted insecurities that they feel the need to make other people feel like them. I promise you it will get better. It did for me.

10 Things Every Man Should Know about Irish Women

As a race, us Irish women are definitely unique in our ways. But while men might think we're from a different planet sometimes, we're not that difficult to figure out. From our love of Pennys and fake tan to not being able to take a compliment, here are ten things that guys should know about us:

10. We go in packs to the toilet.

On a night out, going to the toilets alone is a foreign concept. Whether it's to check that our mascara isn't running, or to make sure our hairstyle is still intact. We also love to gossip about how to get that cute guy we spotted across the bar to notice us, or to vent how our ex's new girlfriend keeps staring us. We congregate to the toilets to put the world to rights!

9: We love our soaps.

We might give out about how ridiculous Fair City and the rest of the soaps are sometimes, but we are still addicted to them. It's a great way to unwind after our day, as well as a good water cooler topic amongst friends and colleagues. And while we're engrossed in the latest Carrigstown/Walford/Dales drama you'll be wise not interrupt us. Unless it's to bring us a cup of tea and a biscuit.

 

8: We like to drink.

We like to think that we can drink guys under the table. We give it a good try. But most of us can’t. We're usually too afraid to look at our phone the next morning for fear we'll find messages that we drunkenly sent to our ex, and we wait with dread for a call from our friend to fill us in on what happened as we cringe down the phone. After a few we also like to think we're Carrie Bradshaw in high heels and Beyoncé on the dance floor. But in reality we always have a pair of flats in our bag for when we can't walk anymore.

  

7: Fake tan is essential.

Being Irish means we have very pale skin. Therefore, we need feed fake tan to look more like a human being than Casper the friendly ghost. We feel like bronzed goddesses with it on and we're not bothered if it smells or gets all over our bed sheets. We're more concerned if it starts streaking on us and gets patchy on a night out.

6: We're up for the craic. 

The expression 'she can talk for Ireland' didn't come from nowhere. We definitely have a unique sense of humor and a way of constantly keeping the conversation going. We love nothing more than a good bit of banter and having the craic with the lads and there's no doubt that we can give back as good as we get. It's this quality that a lot of guys seem to love most about us.

5: We love Penneys.

Despite knowing that we're probably going to see three different people wearing the same thing as us on the same day, we still shop religiously at Penneys. Why? Because we love a bargain, and the recession made it 'cool' to shop there. From everyday t-shirts, to cute dresses for your daughter/niece, and little pieces that can brighten up your home. Pennys has it all, and at a low price.

4: We are competitve.

We can get just as into supporting our county in the GAA as you guys. On match day, we put on our jerseys with pride and end up screaming at the TV if we get a get a goal and shouting if the opposing team gets a point. Or if we're in the local and see a person in the other teams jersey, then we'll get into a light-hearted slanging match with them, and we have a good gloat if our county wins.

3: We love to complain about the weather.

We love to complain about a lot of things, but weather has to be at the top of our list. It’s too hot/too cold/too windy. And it's usually the person behind us in the queue that we complain about it to. And trying to decide what to wear for the day when you've no idea what's the weather's going to like in an hours time is impossible. The sun is shining when you leave the house so we think it's safe not to bring a jacket. But we end up getting soaked into the skin by the time we get home again.

2: We can't take a compliment.

We love complimenting others, but when it comes to someone complimenting us, we just don't know how to take it. If someone says to us 'you're looking well,' the usual response is 'will you go way outta that.' Or 'I love your top'. 'This old thing? I've had it ages!' Whether it's our modesty, or our fear of looking a bit big headed, we can never seem to just say thank you when a compliment comes our way.

1: We love a bit of sunshine.

Saying our weather is unpredictable is an understatement. So when the sun does shine we take great advantage of those five minutes. Out comes the shorts and vest tops. We lather on the suncream. And if we can't get to the beach or a beer garden, we bring a kitchen chair to the back garden and sit out. And if we forget to put on the sun cream, we are definitely going to be sore and as red as a tomato by the end of the day. And we wear our sun burn with pride, because we've proved we made the most out of it.

Gender Identity

http://www.scmp.com/news/hong-kong/article/1252857/man-66-goes-doctor-and-finds-hes-woman

I woke up this morning and saw this article on a friends Facebook page, and as someone who has Turner Syndrome, I found it to be extremely insensitive. For those of you who don’t know, Turner’s is a genetic condition that affects the female reproductive system, and basically causes the ovaries not to work. This means that sufferers can’t get pregnant.

The article is about a 66 year old man in Hong Kong who went to hospital with abdominal pain and discovered he had two conditions: Turner Syndrome and “congenital adrenal hyperplasia (CAH), which boosted the male hormones and made the patient look like a man.” The writer goes on to say that sufferers of Turner’s ‘usually look like women’. Excuse me?!? We are not some alien inhabitants in the guise of women here on Earth. We ARE women!! There is a lot of media attention surrounding Angelina Jolie at the moment with her deciding to get a double mastectomy and will later get her ovaries removed, to reduce her risk of getting of getting cancer. Mostly the media attention has been positive, this brave move seen as empowering for women. Does it make her any less of a woman? Hell no. And having Turner’s doesn’t make me less of a woman either. But the big difference here is that she made this choice, whereas I don’t.

Another issue I have is with the end of the article: “Private gynaecologist Dr Kun Ka-yan said Turner syndrome was rarer now as most sufferers were identified in prenatal tests. Women would usually choose an abortion as the disease can bring other health problems, including mental disability.” Okay, abortion is a completely separate debate here, but I am proof that Turner’s doesn’t necessarily mean a lot of health problems. I am in perfect health and I am lucky enough not to have any related health problems or any of the physical attributes (except for my shortnss!). I didn’t even find out I had it until I was fifteen. While it's not really a secret that I have it, I don't go around broadcasting it either. To me, it’s just a condition I have, but it doesn’t define who I am.

I think the bigger issue here is that in society, you are either male or female, and for most of us, we live our lives in that gender role. But for a lot of people, like this man in the article, it isn’t as black and white as that, and as a result, these people are seen as outcasts, not normal. People are confused if you are not like them, but most of the time, these people are more confused and scared about their own identity than you are.

Love Triangles

All good T.V shows have one thing in common: love triangles. They keep us gripped, as we get emotionally invested in these love stories. We argue with friends, and with people online, as we root for a side, as we watch week after week, hoping that they will end up living happily ever after.

Here’s a list of infamous love triangles that I’ve compiled from the list of shows from my previous post, ‘T.V Programmes I Miss.’

FRIENDS: (Ross/Rachel/Copy Girl)

Okay, it's not a love triangle per say, but Ross’s one night stand with the copy girl broke up our favourite ‘FRIENDS’ couple, Ross and Rachel. The break up lead to one of their saddest ever episodes, as well as the memorable ‘WE WERE ON A BREAK!’ quote. Later, Ross and Rachel had a one night stand, which resulted in their daughter Emma. In the finale, Rachel was on her way to a new life in Paris. But she ‘got off the plane’, finally getting back to9gether with her ‘lobster’ Ross.

Beverly Hills 90210: (Dylan/Brenda/Kelly)

Brenda and Dylan were Romeo and Juliet of the 90's. Despite Brenda’s parents’ disapproval of their relationship, their love was too strong to keep them apart. That was until Brenda’s trip to Europe. She ended up having a fling with tour guide Rick, while Dylan stayed at home and got closer to Brenda’s best friend Kelly. In the end, Dylan chooses Kelly, as Brenda sets off for a new life in London. Dylan and Kelly break up, as she starts a relationship with Brenda's twin brother Brandon. Dylan ends up marrying the daughter of the man who killed his fatehr a few years previously. This ended tragicallly with her being murdered. But all is not hopeless, as in the finale, Dylan and Kelly get back together and David and Donna's wedding. 'From the new ‘90210’, we know that Dylan and Kelly now have a child together, but Dylan isn’t in the picture anymore, choosing to travel the world, rather than settling down. Me personally, I would have loved to see Dylan get back together with Brenda.

Sex and the City: (Carrie/Big/Aidan)

Carrie was attracted to Big from the very first episode. But Big’s inability to commit left Carrie heart broken. Along comes Aidan, a good, dependable guy that helps her pick up the pieces. In the meantime, Big ends up marrying another woman, Natasha. But Carrie and Big cannot fight their attraction for each other and start a tumultuous affair, which ends when Natasha catches them in bed together. Their subsequent relationships end also. All is not lost, as like a fairytale, true love prevails. In the finale, Big goes to Paris to rescue her from her latest beau, Aleksandr Petrovsky. He takes her home to New York, and ‘absofuckinlutely’ finally gives her the commitment she so desperately wanted. 

Dawson’s Creek: (Joey/Dawson/Pacey)

It was clear from the beginning that Joey was in love with the boy across the creek, her best friend Dawson. Dawson remained clueless for a while, but they finally got together in the beginning of the second season. They were broken up by the end of that season, after Dawson helped put Joey’s dad behind bars again. Dawson asked his best friend Pacey to look out for her, and they end up falling in love, leaving Dawson heartbroken. Joey and Pacey eventually broke up, leaving fans guessing about who Joey was going to end up with until the final episode. While Dawson was Joey’s soul mate, and they will always share a special bond, Joey's heart belonged to Pacey. Joey and Pacey get back togther, with Dawson realising his dream of working with Spielberg.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: (Buffy/Angel/Spike)

Okay, this might not be a traditional love triangle, but this isn’t a traditional story. Buffy fell in love with two vampires with tortured souls, at two different times. First, there was Angel, the vampire with a soul, which was destroyed after they spent a night of passion together. Then, after he moved to L.A, there was Spike. While he spent a good while trying to kill her, he ends up falling for her. He even gets his soul back just to prove to her that he does genuinely love her, and they have a somewhat unconventional romance. Angel comes back in the final episode to help her fight in a battle. They share a kiss with Spike watching in the wings, giving fans hope that these are the two that will live happily ever after.

One Tree Hill: (Lucas/Peyton/Brooke)

Probably one of the most complicated of the love triangles. Lucas had a thing for his brother Nathan’s girlfriend Peyton. It was obvious that they shared an emotional connection. But even after Peyton and Nathan break up, it never really went anywhere. So he ended up dating Peyton’s best friend, Brooke. Peyton finally realises that she wants Lucas, so they have an affair behind Brooke’s back. Brooke finds out and breaks up with Lucas. Peyton, feeling guilty for what she did to Brooke, breaks up with him too. After a while, Lucas gets back with Brooke. Peyton tells Brooke that she still loves Lucas. Brooke breaks up with Lucas again. Lucas and Peyton eventually get together, after Lucas realised that she was the one he wanted next to him when his dreams came true. They get married, have a child and drive off into the sunset at the end of the sixth series. This left Brooke free to find the love of her life, Julian Baker.

Gilmore Girls: (Rory/Dean/Jess)

This one is pretty straight forward. Dean was Rory’s first ever boyfriend. He was kind, dependable, and treated her well. Along comes Jess, a troubled guy who Rory had an undeniable connection with. Rory and Dean break up, and she gets together with Jess. Jess ends up leaving town, and a heart broken Rory. Uncharacteristically, she later has an affair with Dean, who had since gotten married. As with most affairs it didn’t last. Rory went off to college and meets Logan, the guy who she finally ends up with. 

So, who was your favourite couple of all time?

T.V Programmes I Miss

Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a bit of a T.V addict. I love nothing more than sitting down after a hard day and engrossing myself in reality T.V or the latest teen drama (hello ‘Geordie Shore’ and ‘Pretty Little Liars’!). But there are some programmes that have since gone, and can never be replaced. What’s great about these shows, is that no matter what genre it is (drama, comedy, supernatural), at the heart of each of them are relationships, growing up, love and heart break. Thank god for boxsets so I can relive my favourite shows over and over again!

FRIENDS

‘Friends’ was the ultimate comedy in the ‘90’s and ’00’s. The fact that the six friends were close off camera added to their chemistry on screen. The show gave us some classic moments: Ross and Rachel on a break, the chick and the duck, and not forgetting ‘Smelly Cat’. By the end of their 10 season run Jennifer Aniston and Co.were paid over one million per episode, and it was worth every penny. While a reunion has been talked about since the show ended, I think it ended in such a cathartic and emotional way, that I think it’s best if we just stick to watching repeats on T.V.

Beverly Hills 90210.

The original, and by far the best. They tried to bring it back with ‘90210’, but it just didn’t have the same impact. This show had everything that you can think of that affected Americans in the 90’s: family problems, love triangles, drug abuse, eating disorders, AIDS, alcoholism, teenage pregnancies, homophobia and racism, domestic violence and bulimia. At the heart of it all was the Walsh family, as parents Cindy and Jim Walsh tried to steer their children, Brandon and Brenda, down the right path. The show was never the same after they left, and oh how fun it is to watch it now and laugh at the fashion faux pas.

Sex and the City

This show was iconic for many reasons. Not only did we drool over the fashion choices of Carrie Bradshaw, but the show also made it okay for us women to talk openly about sex, and sexual matters like female promiscuity and sexual diseases. While the relationship between Carrie and Mr Big enthralled us, the heart of the show was the close friendship between four different girls, Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte. While there were two Sex and The City movies to keep us from missing the foursome, the magic of the show just could not be recaptured. Let’s face it, the first one was okay, but the second one wasn't!

Dawon’s Creek

What we loved about the show was the big teen angst and convoluted dialogue between two of the main characters, Dawson and Joey. While the creek might not have been true to reality at times, we just couldn’t help but fall in love with Pacey’s wit and charm, and the innoncent relationship between Dawson and his best friend Joey in the beginning. And it gave us one of the saddest endings in TV history when Jen died, leaving behind her daughter Amy.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer

This supernatural drama showed us that women can kick ass too as Sarah Michelle Gellar fought vampires and demons each week, while still at school, and dealing with her doomed relationship with the vampire with a soul, Angel. This show quickly became a cult classic and created the spin-off ‘Angel’, as well as comics, novels and video games.

One Tree Hill

Described as ‘the little show that could,’ due to its growing fan base over the first few seasons, this is show was essential viewing for any teen. ‘Tree Hill’ is a small town with a lot of history and connections, as parents’ past mistakes ultimately affect their present, and their children. ‘One Tree Hill’, in my opinion, also gave us one of the best bad guys in T.V: Dan Scott. This show also has a strong and amazing soundtrack, which kick started the careers of singers Gavin DeGraw, Tyler Hilton, Kate Voegele, and Bethany Joy Lenz.

Gilmore Girls

This show was famous for its fast, witty dialogue and pop culture references. At the core were the relationships between mother and daughter: the close relationship that Rory shared with her mother Lorelai, and the animosity and social divide between Lorelai and her mother Emily, who, lets face it, always had the best one liners.

So, what T.V shoes do you miss? 

I Have A Dream.

I’m still in a nostalgic mood (see previous post The Year Of Nostalgia). If the Big Reunion was to air again next year, it got me thinking about what pop bands I'd love to see reunite. (Please note that this is my own wish list. I realise that some of them would never reunite or go on the show).

So here’s my list…

Westlife:

Top of it has to be Westlife. Anyone who knows me knows who much I love them. I know they haven’t even broken up a year yet, but I still miss them! I’d even put up with Brian (or Bryan) McFadden rejoining the group if it means they get back together!

All Saints:

They were the English version of Destiny’s Child back in the day. Their attempt at getting back together a few years ago didn’t go too well, but you never know, with the success of the show, it could work this time!

S Club 7:

I’m sorry but I love nothing more than a bit of cheesy pop, and S Club brings it and then some!!

Hear’Say:

This year saw Popstars rejects Liberty X take the plunge, so it’s only right that the winners take a pop at it! We just need Kym marsh to be relieved of her acting duties on Corrie for a while.

O-Town

Love these guys! ‘All Or Nothing’ is still one of my favourite boyband ballads of all time.

So, who would you love to see reunite?

Year Of Nostalgia!!

From The Big Reunion to PJ and Duncan’s epic return last weekend, we all love going back to days of our carefree childhood. Here are a few reasons why 2013 is the year of nostalgia…And it’s still only March!!

The Big Reunion:

Some of the best pop bands of the 90’s are back with a reality show 'The Big Reunion' as they reunite for a special concert at The Hammersmith Apollo in London. Cue lots of tears and arguments as they try to get passed past differences, and Kerry Katona is back as part of Atomic Kitten, making them ‘Whole Again’. Reality TV Gold!!

“Let’s Get Ready To Rhumble”:

Ant and Dec reprised their roles of PJ and Duncan as they sang their hit “Let’s Get Ready To Rhumble” on their show ‘Saturday Night Takeaway’. The song got to number one on the UK iTunes Charts the next day. Hash tag legends!

Superbowl Reunion:

Destiny’s Child reunited onstage for the first time in six years as they performed at The Super Bowl’s halftime show last month.

Girls Are Aloud Again:

Girls Aloud also reunited this year for one final tour to say goodbye to their fans. And after Nadine let rip on Twitter saying she had no part in wanting to split the girls up, it doesn’t look like all five girls will be seen together again!

Clarissa Explains It All…

…in book form! The man who created the show ‘Clarissa Explains It All’, Mitchell Kriegman is in the middle of writing an epic where-is-she-now book. Will Sam still be climbing through her window wherever the now 23 year old is? Will her brother Ferguson still be as annoying as ever? Let’s hope so! Think it’s time to re-watch the episodes on YouTube!

And Finally…

TV stars are getting back in the action with ‘Friends’ Courtney Cox (Monica Gellar) reuniting with Matthew Perry (Chandler Bing) in his show ‘Go On’.

‘Malcolm In The Middle’ parents’ Bryan Cranston and Jane Kaczmarek will reunite in the final season of Cranston’s award winning show ‘Breaking Bad’.

‘Cheers’ co stars Rhea Pearlman and Kirstie Alley are back together after 20 years with a new show, due to premier in the autumn.

Any nostalgic moments you would like to relive from your childhood??