Cyberbullying: It Needs To Stop.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me” is a phrase that we hear constantly when we are kids. But the irony is that words can be more hurtful and have longer lasting effects than any broken bones. The high profile suicides of school girls Erin Gallagher here in Donegal and Irish Phoebe Prince, living in Massachusetts, have highlighted the damage that bullying can have on a young life. Just last week, another young girl took her own life after being bullied on the site ask.fm.

While the internet and social media is a fantastic way to get information instantly and a great way to keep in touch with people, it clearly has a darker side. It allows someone the freedom to sit behind a screen and say whatever despicable, hurtful things they want. It gives them a sense of bravery and emotional disconnection that would not necessarily be there if they were face to face with that person.

I went through my teens getting bullied, mostly by my so called friends, and from my experience, the bullying stays with you long after it has stopped. At that age, your peers are the biggest influence in your life. You’re growing, and discovering who you are. Being bullied at this stage leaves you feeling worthless and alone. You feel useless and think that you have no one. You believe everyone hates you, and you end up hating yourself. But I feel like it was easier for me in a way because I didn’t grow up with Facebook, and smart phones weren’t available. I could go home, close my bedroom door, listen to music, and try to put it out of my head. But with technology, there isn’t that escape anymore. Someone could contact you through your phone or computer whenever they want. Even as I’m writing this, I see that one person has called another an ‘ugly f***k’ on Twitter after she posted a picture of herself, and it makes me sick to my stomach that someone can be so hurtful about another person that they’ve never even met.

So what can be done to prevent this? Unfortunately, there is no miracle solution. While there is a proposal by ministers to closely monitor cyber bullying in schools, it doesn’t get to root of it. Should cyber bullying become a police matter? Should these people be brought before a judge and cautioned? It’s a difficult question to answer. The ‘easy’ solution is that cyber bullying should be stopped before it gets to that level.

Most parents give their children too much freedom and there’s not enough supervision when it comes to monitoring their online activities. Ultimately, parents should talk to their children, teach them that using the internet is a privilege and show them how to use it in the right way. Be more vigilant when it comes to what children are doing online. If they find that they’re child is bullying someone, take away their phone/laptop, anything that they can use to contact that person. Sit them down and try and explain to them the hurt that they are causing, talk to them about their peers who have taken their own lives of because of this. I don’t think that they really do think about the emotional consequences.

If your child is being bullied, to protect them, you do the exact same thing by taking away their phone and laptop, to stop them from being contacted. Make them feel like they can talk to you, but more importantly, that they are safe and loved. Studies show that people who are bullied at a young age tend to become more driven and turn out to be the most hardworking, successful people, because they feel like they have something to prove.

I also feel that there needs to be more education in schools when it comes to the effects of bullying. I think schools would greatly benefit from someone giving a talk about their experience, to show how bullying can really affect someone, which could make teenagers think twice before they bully. Also, someone needs to come in and talk to them about suicide, and how, no matter how low you are feeling, it is not the answer.

To anyone reading this who is being bullied, I urge you to talk to someone who you trust, to make realise that you are loved and you are not alone in this world. You are beautiful. The probelm is with them, and not you. From my experience, these girls have deep rooted insecurities that they feel the need to make other people feel like them. I promise you it will get better. It did for me.